when i see you in May i wonder if we’ll be different or if you’ll still love me and hate me. i wonder what parts you will remember and what parts you will pretend to forget.

just so you know, somehow i still love you.


( on your answering machine )

Do this if you're bored:

I am: Happy. Sad. A good friend. Adventurous. Shy. Confident. Procrastinating. A male. Bored. Anxious. Clumsy. Sociable. Always punctual. Selfish. Intelligent. Funny. A female. Sarcastic. Insecure. Sick. Beautiful. Articulate. Loud. Kind. Even tempered. Honest. Short. Tall. Medium height. Proud of myself. Loving. Witty. Down to earth. Outspoken. Determined. High maintenance. Pretty. Assertive. Organized. Selfless.

I have: Brown hair. Blue eyes. Brown Eyes. Pale Skin. Curly hair. Long fingernails. Curves. Braces. Chipped nail polish. Long legs. Straight hair. A fringe. Long eyelashes. Sore feet. Freckles. Dark skin. Medium skin. Green eyes. Blonde hair. Dyed hair. Red hair. Short legs. Big boobs. Rosy cheeks. Wavy hair. Black hair. A small waist. Piercings. Tattoos. Big ears. Short hair.

I love: Babies. Flowers. Kisses. Summer. Coffee. The rain. Candles. Incense. Late night talk shows. Insects. Hugs. Attention. The beach. Chocolate. Music. Beanies. Harry Potter. Twilight. Facebook. Black and white photos. Sleeping in. Driving. Narrating my pet’s thoughts. Opening gifts. Buying gifts. Halloween. Cute texts. Apples. Compliments. Country music. Hip hop.Sushi. Sports. Art. Singing. Seeing my loved ones happy. Surprises. Sunsets and sunrises. Skinny dipping. Horror movies. Simon Cowell. Family Guy. Garlic. Hearing somebody talk in their sleep. Being right. KFC. Abstract photography. Concerts and festivals. Tanning. Oversized t-shirts.

My other is: Nonexistent. Tall. Intelligent. Selfish. Selfless. Confusing. Funny. A good singer. Mysterious. Bad for me. Sweet. An animal lover. A surfer. A skater. Dating somebody else. Blonde. Unaffectionate. Charming. Brunette. Romantic. A liar. Easy to forgive. Dealing with problems. Moody. Kind to my friends. Boring. Shy. Gorgeous. Caring. Short. A redhead. In college. At work. At school. Always texting me. Pale skinned. Tanned. Quiet. Obnoxious. Protective of me. Jealous. Cocky.

I would love to be a: Police officer. Lawyer. Doctor. Teacher. Fruit picker.Mother. Greenpeace volunteer. Hippie. Groupie. Rockstar. Footballer’s wife. Therapist. Singer. Actress. Diving instructor. Lottery winner. Company owner. Housewife. Nurse. Builder. Race car driver. Website developer. An inspirational talker. Music teacher. Artist. Chef. Makeup artist. Hairdresser. Restaurant owner. Homeless shelter volunteer. Fitness trainer. Vet. Radio show host. Band manager.

I like to eat: Fruit. Vegetables. Fast food. Sushi. Rice. Sandwiches.Subway. Chicken. Cakes. Seafood. A lot. Pasta. Rice crackers.Cheese. Ice cream. Garlic bread. Peanut butter out of the jar. Eggs. Lots of ethnic foods. Pancakes. Honey. Bread crusts. Low calorie foods. Soy products. Gluten free products. .Toast. Breakfast. Pizza.

I dislike: Cold mornings. Baths. People dissing my taste in music. People in front of me walking really slowly. Having my personal space invaded.Cleaning. Going to bed early. Wine/beer. Religion arguments. Coffee. The beach. Rain. Children!!!. Having my photo taken. Drama. Gossiping. Hip hop. Cooking shows. Drugs. Cats. People singing happy birthday to me. School. Selfish people. Social networking sites. Swimming. Snow. Eminem.Seafood. One word text messages. Awkward silences. Alarm clocks.

--- Note how almost all the foods are in BOLD god i'm such a fat ass

Don't go, say you'll stay
Spend a lazy Sunday
In my arms, I won't take
Anything away

-elevator love letter by stars

i want to go to bed early every night so i’m not so damn tired every day.

i want to get up earlier so i can have time to talk to god properly instead of dozing off halfway during quiet time

i want to suck it up and work more so i can excel

i want to stop wasting time on the internet 

i want to drink at least 6 glasses of water a day like i am supposed to.

i want to take vitamins every day.

i want to make the best of everything i have, so that the grass always looks greener on MY SIDE of the field

i want to concentrate on the things that really matter, and put the little things aside

i want to take better care of my skin and somehow make it nice.

i want to let my hair grow instead of constantly thinking of chopping it all off

i want to wear more skirts (or else i would have bought them for nothing) 

i want to stop worrying about the next day

i want to eat more fruit!

i want to be in the sunshine every day laughing my soul out

i want to give you a hug because you're scared

 

To the people that care about Valentine's Day, have a great one (okay this is pretty late but wtv just IMAGINE)
To the people like me who don't really give a shit, HIGH FIVE KNUCKLE FIST THINGYMAJIG

Ah, but the whole single awareness day and love is in the air thing has got me thinking. I realize I only post stuff when I'm pensive hmm I should post happy stuff when I'm happy yes I shall do that if I have the time. I was talking to Zach and he broke up with his gf a day before VDAY, and said it was absolutely terrible having to spend VDAY single. WOAH HOLY SHIT THEN I REALIZED I'VE NEVER SPENT A VDAY WHILE ATTACHED :D Eight months since my last relationship and I don't intend on throwing myself into another one. Or rather, I can't even see myself in another one. MY SPINSTER DREAM OOH LA LA SO EGGCITING. I can't see myself with anyone, nor can I see myself being alone. 

Chinese New Year has lost it's magic too. Is it just me or is the greeting your elders thing for hongbao so very meaningless? We just repeat the same old sayings and the elders say the same old things then we give them the CHRISTIAN SMILE and slowly walk away with our hongbao. I don't even look forward to the money any more. Roar. The food is good though maybe that's why I have a sore throat now from all the eating ): Back in London I would have died just to take the 12.5 hour flight back to singapore and eat my grandma's homecooked mee suah. 

“According to Elizabeth Kubler Ross, when we are dying or have suffered through a catastrophic loss we all go through 5 distinct stages of grief. We go in to denial because the loss is so unthinkable we can’t imagine its true. We become angry with everyone, angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We beg, we plead, we offer everything we have, we offer up our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall in to depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we have done everything we can, we let go. We let go, and move into acceptance.”

At the moment: Acceptance 
(: